The topic dream or dreamy was chosen by Claire of Wilhelmina Photography. I was pretty stumped with what I was going to do. This is what I love about this group – it continually taking me out of my comfort zone.
We have major renovations going on in our home. Items in the house seem to move from room to room. One of the items that moved out of our closet and into my office was a filing cabinet. Inside the filing cabinet was was all sorts of interesting things, including a book that I had once written poetry in. So I am going to get a little vulnerable here.
It was the typical teenage angst of life. Young, not quite an adult, but knowing that there is a world out there to conquer. There are dreams that need to be fulfilled.
I hung out with a group of friends who came from all walks of life. We were idealistic. We would laugh together, dream together and then the unthinkable happened. One of us died. How do you handle your emotions. How do you express what you are feeling. Part of it for me was to write the words I was feeling. He was a very close friend, who had come from a troubled background, who seemed to be getting his life on track when he was sadly killed in a car accident. He was just 24 years old. I believe this was my way of processing his death. Where I could I have tried to tie poems to my dreamy images.
There were so many dreams that we all had as teenagers and young adults. Like any young idealistic person, some of our dreams were realistic and others just a little unrealistic. Loosing this young man that we all loved was a real wake up call that you are never too young to die. Even today as I think back and as I re-read the letters he had sent to me and remember the friendship that we had, I see his beautiful smiling face and know just how much of an impression he made on me, on all of us. It was a big hole of disbelief when he was taken from us.
He has been gone from our lives for over 30 years, but his memory lingers on. It is a good reminder to love wherever you can, to take what life offers you and to look for the best in all circumstances. Hug your family and friends. Tomorrow is not promised. Today is all you have.
I saw a man
He stood at the shore.
The waves lapped
over his feet.
And in his mind
I saw trouble and doubt.
He was alone
to think it out.
Could he try
to find out why
something went wrong.
Why life was so troubling
and seemed to face him everyday.
Then his mind went blank
a wall of darkness
closed it off.
When I looked again
that man had walked away.
He was someone
close to us.
A man who used to love so much.
He received so little
yet gave a lot
He was someone we all loved.
His life was filled with emptiness,
yet he face up to it expectantly.
He conquered all that that he needed to
and pushed past the misery.
He had a family he never knew
He had friends He could turn to
Yet he stood strong
and faced life alone
until that final blow
took him away from us.
It’s lonely on the outside
where there’s nothing much to share
It’s lonely on the outside
when there is never people there
turn around and look inside
and see if it’s all there
the love, the hate, the bitterness
the thoughts that say you should care,
find out if your loneliness
is ever present there.
Understand it takes two
to bring about a unity of souls.
A piercing cry ripped through the sky
I looked overhead
to see a gull in full flight
his body arched
his head thrown back
his tail upright
as he flew by
the he turned and flew by again
as if to say
into a crystal clear pool of water
and saw myself
But unlike myself
this reflection showed fear,
across the forehead
The mouth pulled taut
full of doubt
a questioning look reflected.
I dropped a pebble into the water
hoping the reflection would disappear
yet when it re-appeared
was still there.
When I looked upwards
the sun was shining in my eyes.
Once in the life of yesterday
I saw it from afar.
It was a bright illuminating
entrancing little star.
Pierced by the encounterance
I moved into the light,
And there below this awesome sight
I stood abound in love.
Poet I am really not, but I grew up with the great artists like Leonard Cohen and Joan Baez, story tellers of excellence. All I wanted to do was write stories and write poems. I wanted to be the next aspiring artist.
Writing this blog tonight Leonard Cohen is playing in the background. He still takes me to those deep dark places where you can slip into your mind and find the memories in there in the form of dreams. As I reflect on the past, the late teenage years and the early twenties were some of my greatest moments, and deepest lows.
When I think about that beautiful life that was taken away from us and the loss we all felt, I am reminded that I still have a life to live. No matter what age you are remember that tomorrow is not promised. If you are thinking of doing something, don’t put it off, do it as soon as you are able. Always remember to hug your loved ones tight and to tell them you love them.
In my dreams I see the face of Todd, and I hear his laughter and his jokes. I also see the sadness and the sorrow. I wish I had another chance to remind him that he is what made his life. He was what made us love him. His lot in life was not the best but he took what he was given and he faced up to that daily walk.
I will leave you with one of his poems that he sent to me just before he died.
Kindred Spirits meet unsought – by an
alchemy of thought. Towards each
other they are led – guided by the
unseen thread of accident or passing
chance – caught in a web of
Kindred Spirits, souls in tune – come
together late or soon – like notes that
harmonize when played – thus
affinities are made – and lifelong
friendships come about. Time alone
can work it out. Two in tune in time will
meet – and life at last will be complete.
~Todd Michael Vermeulen
Thank you for joining me for this month’s Share Six. This is a circle blog. From the sneak peak images I have seen, you are going to want to follow the circle. Please take time to visit our my friend Aubrey of Applewood Photography and see what she has for you this month. Keep following the circle to see what the other photographers have shared this month. Don’t forget to leave a little love on their page as well.
Now it is your turn. Don’t forget to like us on Facebook at Share Six and come and share your images on the theme Dream/Dreamy throughout the month of June. A new theme will come out on July 6.
Remember you can follow us on Instagram at @sharesix and tag your images #sharesix_dream or #sharesix_dreamy.
You can also find the Share Six webpage at http://www.sharesix.wordpress.com
We look forward to seeing your images on the theme Dream/Dreamy